As cute and adorable as this picture may be, deep inside I was more worried about cleaning up the mess...
I hate to admit that, but it's true.
In my head I had to get back to business, I was putting together some big deals and losing focus now would just hinder the entire process.
I was more focused about cleaning up and the time it would take to finish, that I almost missed out on this precious moment.
A moment that I know I'd regret if I didn't take the time to slow down and appreciate these times.
A moment that seemed so minuscule at the time, but would later prove be of great significance.
While I'm over here stressing, Lana's having the time of her life learning about the complex texture of one of our household favorites, the avocado.
Watching her smile at me as she flung avocado pieces around the kitchen was a thing of beauty. It's like time slowed down and the classical music started playing in the background while we watched Lana totally demolishing her high chair.
Lana reminded me that life gets messy.
No matter how much we try and control it, no matter how much we TRY to keep it clean... we all know that's never the case.
A lot of times, we don't choose the mess we're given.
"I didn't have a support system growing up..."
"I grew up in a crappy household..."
"Covid totally screwed up my business..."
Whatever reasoning we can come up with, it's all the same.
They're just EXCUSES.
They're just excuses we try to place the blame on as to why our lives stayed "messy".
They're stories upon stories that we've recycled time and time again, in hopes that with enough repetition we'd finally believe they were true.
And at one point, we all do. We all believe that these stories we've drilled into our subconscious are indeed FACTS. But's that's just a lie we chose to believe in an attempt to make sense of it all.
The truth is that EVERYONE has a different set of challenges to overcome, some more extreme than others, but that just depends on who's perspective we're seeing it from.
Everyone has a set of circumstances they didn't choose, it was just handed to them.
And instead of facing those challenges head on, many people give in to the pressure. They do their best to keep things "clean" by following along and continuing down the same narrative of "I didn't have a choice".
YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE.
Don't worry about maintaining a "clean" appearance. Nobody's life is THAT perfect.
I've worked with some highly successful people over the years spanning from multiple industries and professions, and no matter how well put together they may look on the outside, deep inside they were battling with something nobody else could see.
Life isn't perfect. There will be pain and there will be struggles. But that's the most beautiful part that makes life worth living.
There's a peace that comes to mind when I think about uncertainty.
That's the part I know we have ZERO control over.
The only thing to control at that point, is our response.
It's okay to feel lost sometimes. It's also okay to NOT have everything figured out.
Just don't let that stop you from moving forward. Embrace the process. Get some avocados thrown in your face. Don't worry about the clean up right now. Soak in the experiences of struggle because it makes the WIN that MUCH SWEETER.
Like I said, don't be afraid to get messy.
Being of service, is in our blood.
All the way back from your Great Great Lolo’s (grandfather) time, we have all served our communities and countries in both a military and law enforcement aspect.
Being part of something greater than yourself, and serving a higher purpose outside of YOU is both honorable and fulfilling.
At some point in life, you’ll think that the world revolves around you. And you’ll be caught up in your own little world that you’ll like you have no time for anything else but you and your friends.
It’s okay, it happens to everyone.
You’ll get older and you’ll see that the world is so much bigger than what you initially understood. And hopefully that point, you’ll stop thinking “What can the world do for ME?”
And start thinking about “How can serve the world? What impact can I leave for my kids and family?”
Life changes when you stop thinking of how much can you take, and start dreaming about how much YOU CAN GIVE.
The faster you can commit to that ONE thing, the faster you’ll be able to shift to the next thing.
Either you do it now or later, your identity WILL EVOLVE. Do it now and it’s your choice. Wait till later and leave it up to chance.
When you master a craft, you’re better equipped to handle the next challenges in life. Seek out challenges and master the basics, the advanced level is just a combination of the basic foundations.
Some people wait too long to CHOOSE their lives. They’ll end up with only a handful of options. They’re limited because TIME isn’t on their side.
When you’re able to choose your HARD, you’re playing in the world of possibilities. You’re better able to explore your strengths and weaknesses sooner, and pivot when needed.
In the end it’s all about choice. You either choose to live a champion now, or take a chance and watch the world pass you by as you continue the endless game of “WHAT IF...”
Life isn’t about WHAT you know, it’s WHO YOU BECOME with what you know.
Knowledge is great, being a lifetime learner is an important part of life. However, adding experience and depth to knowledge, leads to WISDOM.
I’ve always had a natural curiosity about life and how the world works, maybe it’s the visionary in me but there’s just something about it all that peaks my interest.
I’m sure you’ll hear me say this to you and your siblings a lot growing up, but the fact is that our time here in Earth is limited.
So enjoy these moments while we’re together.
Fall in love with THE PROCESS.
Don’t be afraid of failure, and understand that CHANGE is part of the game.
Don’t let the world dictate who you become, God’s had a purpose for when you were born and God still has a purpose for you as you’re reading this right now!
Guard your heart, and preserve your character and integrity.
Seek out wisdom as you continue to grow and build the life you were created for.
One of my favorite questions to get my myself and/or my clients inspired is this:
“Who am I becoming, and what do I need to get there?”
One of my mentors, who's known as the mental performance coach for many UFC Legends, taught me a very simple formula thats helped my clients and I create long-term and sustained change.
Event + Response = Outcome
Sometimes, bad things happen in life and there's nothing we can do about it. Or at least that how we may feel, helpless.
The one thing we're ALWAYS in control of is our RESPONSE.
How we respond to adversity, how we respond to pain, setback, doubt, and fear.
Our response is the only factor our of that whole equation that we can take 100% accountability for. We can't control the event, nor can we control the outcome.
But we can choose how we respond. That may not change the OUTCOME a whole lot, but it can help. We can't change the event, but we can choose our response and hope to influence the outcome.
When we start to see the bigger pictures in life, and apply this formula, our perceptions change. We'll have more peace, knowing we did everything in our power to drive towards our desired results. Win or lose, we'll know that we controlled the controllable and let the rest sort itself out.
We've removed the "victim" mentality and replaced it with a VICTOR mindset.
You'll remember that life is all about perspective.
Because our perceptions, creates our REALITIES.
What's a recent event in your life that you wish you could do over because you had a poor response?
How would you respond differently now that you know this formula?
How would the outcome be different because of your new response??
This formula, just like anything else, is a tool. It's a tool you'll get better at the more you use it.
It takes time, but eventually it'll become second nature to you.
Control your response, to impact the OUTCOME.
As a parent, we want to give our children the world. We want to give you guys a better life than we had growing up.
But that dynamic is much more complex than I initially thought. I hope and pray that you never have to experience what I had to go through growing up, let alone what your Lola had to go through in the Philippines, but I’m sure she’ll tell you that story at one point.
I want to protect you from that reality…but then again that reality also produced significant growth and perspective. Those times of struggles, taught me invaluable life lessons that helped your mother and I create the life you have today!
So as much as I want to protect you from pain, I know there’s always something good that will come from it.
I guess it’s kind of like a superpower, being able to constantly see the good in any and every situation.
It’s not “toxic positivity”, or whatever your generation decides to call it by the time you’re older, it’s just FAITH.
It’s faith in knowing that God can use any situation and make it work out in the end. It’ll feel like crap in the beginning, especially when it’s fresh and you don’t see how it’s possible to get passed it all, but it’ll get better.
Time is a powerful treatment, but faith is the true antidote.
As much as I want to say that I’ll always be here to protect you, there will be times in life when I can’t.
But we can do our best to equip you with the tools you need to succeed. To teach you the lessons you need to conquer every obstacle and how to forge your own set of tools as well.
My #1 tool is FAITH. Like I said, it really does feel like a superpower when you know that God’s always in control.
There’s a certain calmness and peace that surges through your body even when you’re going through challenging times.
It’s a tool I’ve gotten better at using over time.
It’s a tool that I sometimes question whether it’s working or not…but it is.
You’ll get so frustrated that you’ll smack that tool against something hard hoping to fix it, you’ll shake close to your ear to hear if it’s broken, you’ll even toss it away thinking “I’ll just buy a new one”…
Trust me, it’s not broken.
It’s working just the way it’s designed to.
It ALWAYS is.
Sometimes we just need a little patience for it to start kicking in.
Remember that time is a powerful treatment, but faith is the true antidote.
As a mindset coach, consultant, mentor, and trusted advisor to athletes and high level entrepreneurs; I've been blessed to be around some truly remarkable people.
But what makes them remarkable isn't their status, their careers, fame, or even their incomes.
What impresses me the most about these individuals is their MENTAL TOUGHNESS. Their ability to see a challenge and perceive it as a good thing! To take negative setbacks the world throws on their plates, and masterfully use it to gain an advantage rather than a hindrance.
Through my work and life experience learning from these types of high performers, I created the F-FIT® Method, which is what I teach my one-on-one clients.
It stands for Faith, Family, Fitness, and Freedom; the four core values to living a fulfilled and purpose driven life.
There's a story to the whole "F-FIT" brand, but unless you've already heard it on the podcast or some other interview, you'll just have to wait until next time for me to share that crazy story.
The "Letters To Lana" series is meant to be more heartfelt, meaningful, loving, and is generally the "softer" side of me.
The "F-FIT®" Series is more aggressive, raw, direct, warrior-like passion, that's meant to challenge your thinking and INSPIRE IMMEDIATE ACTION!
My MISSION and PURPOSE with this blog is to serve. In whichever way resonates with YOU, the reader, best. You may relate more with the loving, tender, and nurturing side of me. Or you maybe you respond better to aggression and tactical actions?
Either way, you'll get value.
So here's my F-FIT Friday insight for the week which is my FORMULA FOR CHANGE:
Thoughts lead to emotions.
Emotions lead to actions.
Actions lead to results.
Results lead to BELIEFS.
If you want to change your life, if you want different RESULTS, you've got to start THINKING differently. Eventually, you'll start BELIEVING in new possibilities or you'll stay stuck in your OLD BELIEFS.
Control your THOUGHTS, change your BELIEFS.
Happy Friday ya'll.
The world is your playground. You can make it as fun or as difficult as you choose it to be.
Remember that restrictions and limitations are not the same thing. People create restrictions , but you create your limitations. When you’re stuck, confused, in pain, or just in search for vision in life, JUST BREATHE.
Just breathe and remember that this too shall pass. Cold showers will teach you more about life than you think.
Adversity is a part of nature. It’s a natural part of our growth process. Even when adversity feels like it’s taking over, trust me it won’t.
When it feels like all hope is lost, believe when I say IT’S NOT.
If you feel like God abandoned you, know that He never has and He never will.
If you’re still breathing, that means you’re still fighting.
And whenever you’re still fighting, there is always a CHANCE at winning.
Have faith and keep BREATHING.